Passion and its vicissitudes in a University billiards bar, with hot Caribbean girls who make me feel things inside I never knew I had. It’s sad to know what you’ve been missing. But change has to start somewhere, and longing and loss are always good beginnings, though it hurts.
While we work and struggle with nonsense up North these tropical darlings live and fuck effortlessly. I’ve seen this before, I’ve been here. It was a salsa club in Medellin, I went there during the afternoon and was having a drink as the sunlight beamed in. 70s Salsa blaring, I had it all. The girls, the drugs, the money, the life and it wasn’t enough.
I told myself I come from a great civilization, not like these passionate monkeys that don’t know what tragedy and suffering is. They’ve never had to fight war. Build cities, raise armies, invent the number zero. Fuck it, the Mayas don’t count.
Rackety rack go the balls all over the table and the sound makes a nice back drop to their coy glances. I smile and they smile back.
They touch me with their innocence. The joy of youth is a lack of self – awareness, not knowing what they got – till it’s gone. They’re Roman candles aflame, piercing the stillness of time with their light. Nobody knows when or how it will one day end, vitality.
Nothing worse then growing old. Don’t let them fool you. It’s all downhill, all the time.
So these girls and boys dance, as I watch them perversely from my bar stool writing these very words to capture their attempts of making the carnal, eternal. Colors everywhere. If this isn’t truth, I don’t know what is.
I want to make love, all the time. The older I get the more important it becomes. I have a purpose: Every girl is a part of my constellation. I want to look across, before the big sleep, one last time towards the heavens and see all these starlets come together over me; their sum greater than their parts, somehow making sense of my story in this desolate land.
Each woman is different but they are seduced in the same way.
I went after a woman before making my way down here. She lives on the Upper East Side, alone. I felt here body move to my beat. I took her with one eye on the Manhattan skyline, looking through her window at the bright lights, big city. You really can’t take the Queens outtta the boy.
And in the morning a bagel with lox and cream cheese with a black coffee to celebrate.
The refined gringo pleasures.
New Age. Anti-system. Free Love. What cannot be proven still has value. Anger. Malcolm X. Rock and Roll. Nostalgia. Death. Suffering. Beauty. Nature. The meaning. The one. Poetry. American Culture (or lack there of). High Culture. The good life. A wise man and a fool see not the same tree. Mr. Mojo Risin. Love Love. India pre 1991. Anti Allopathic Medicine and all its lies. Meditation. Teaching to transgress. Amusing ourselves to death. Love your mamma.
Wednesday, April 07, 2010
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