Saint in The City

I can't lie to myself. The only sincerity I can have is to my self. I need to, before I negate something , be capable of living, doing , experiencing what I negate and to do it well. I want to show that my choice is not a result of incapacity. That I can win and be successful. And then I can give it up. This is my version of modern saintliness. To show the system, the world , that I can play and win by their rules and then break them and give it all up. There is immense pleasure in this way of life.