my adolescent problems. Like all beautiful things that encounter
formal instruction, school figured out a way to kill it. If sex was
introduced into the curriculum, the grading, competition and i am sure
the poor teaching would ruin it as well. It would turn us off from
fucking and make us dread it. The present day anxiety is bad enough,
with the advertisement and pop culture references that penetrate the
Like this ad on the subway: Don't let erectile dysfunction ruin your
Thats like saying: don't let your lost limb prevent you from having a
And it wasn't erectile dysfunction that ruined your sex life. It was
something else, don't blame the messenger.
There was one thing in that psychology class. When students complained
that if only school started later, not so early at 8am, people would be
on time. My teacher rightly said people would be late to school no
matter what time it opened for the simple reason that they hate it.
Discipline is often used to make us to do things we don't want to do.
And what about self-discipline? Why is it necessary? why do you need
to push ourselves to do something thats good for us?
All if our actions come from either love or fear. If you push
yourself, push yourself with love.
I sat in on a free group meditation on 42nd and 5th ave. Afterwards
there was time for sharing, questions and answers. This woman asked if
she could read a book on meditation. Such a new york fucking question.
umm, can you recommend a film, a documentary, a short story, a field
trip, that will outline and make me understand the path to
enlightenment? No. Thats what I wanted the teacher to say. And I
could tell thats what she wanted to say, but she didn't because she is
more empathetic than I am. The other people couldn't be aware, without
controlling, without judging. I had similar problems, and that is what
is most potent about meditation. It really makes us stop to realize
what we are doing.
At 42nd and 5th ave, the center of the world, in one of the most
important islands in the history of mankind, you have these people
struggling with their wealth, and problems, family and sufferings.
When the teacher asked me how it went for me. I said I kept
fantasizing, sexual fantasies, of course.