everything is not, ok

This place makes me insensitive to people's suffering and their lives. I could care less, I care much more about the characters in my books and the actors on the cinema screen. They evoke greater empathy then any of the living idiots I encounter here in washington, DC. What an awful, awful place this is. No style, too many white people, to many geeks, everyone is an over educated underpaid loser.

Last night I went to see a sad film with an eastern european girl. She cried and said she doesn't like seeing sad films. And I told her, baby, there ain't nothing like the blues when you got the blues. Reminded me of that scene from Farenheit 501, that truffuat film in english about the illegality of reading and books. Montag, he takes out the tale of two cities and yeats and other poetry and literature and starts reading impromptu to his wife's friends while they were watching tv. The women listen and then one of them starts to cry. The words and what they represented made her cry. And then Montag's wife admonishes him and says see see ! Thats why books are useless they just make us unhappy. That all books they all contradict each other, some say this is true while others say the exact opposite. They all are meant just to confuse us and make us unhappy.

If this is confusion and unhappiness give me more. Nothing hurts me more than certainty and order, and perky everthing is ok.

What is strange is that people don't understand the need to rebel against what is happening to US. They accept the shopping, they accept the technology, they accept the long distance relationships, they accept the pictures and the voices and the alienation. And the running around, the sleep deprevation. For what, you fools!

They take their pills, quietly. They want to function, they want to be somebody. they want a job, they want to be slaves forever. they are afraid of the desert, they don't want to do nothing. They want to swim, but only for two week vacations. They don't want to be free. They want to be heard, to complain, to be held, to have support, to want to help you so you can help them, they are scared they need help, they need happiness, they don't love, don't know what it is, they are trapped, they are beautiful, they are ugly, they are fat they are too thin, they want to be free, they want to sing, they have no idea what they are missing but feel it somehow through the moving of my words and the power of my kiss.