Friday, November 23, 2007

God Bless Non-Judeo Christian Cultures

Befriending an Arab has made me aware in the difference in outlook of upbringings of mono-theistic cultures versus the rest of us pagans. I grew up in New York City, my Hindu background and my time in India, have influenced my psyche to a large degree. I am something new, unexplainable, not yet definable. I perplex both the western and eastern mind. Part new york part new age, mixed with indian, latin, jewish and black influences, my sense of self is fluid and in influx. I become a fat Elvis singing pre-Revolver Beatles with no hint of irony or self-pity. This bothers the monotheists. They want one person, one whole, a consistent ideology, they see lack of integrity where I see possibility and greater truth. The whore, the beggar, the thief, they are a part of all is us, we must transcend through them rather than avoid them. Evil has to be played with to diffuse it. My father, I remember, in a fit of trying to understand who I was asked whether I had a conscience. I was 13, burning mailboxes, stuffing pigeons in microwaves, torturing cats and starting forest fires on a routine basis. "Don't you have a voice inside you that tells you not to do things." I didn't know what he was talking about. My religion was Guns and fucking Roses. I stole money from my mother's purse to run to the store to buy appetite for destruction, my first album. I came home, pumped up the volume while my parents were away at work and thrashed the house with baby powder. There was baby powder everywhere. This inspired my mother to put plastic covers on our sofa, which destroyed any warmth one could feel on cold saturday mornings watching cartoons.

I don't have a voice inside me that tells me what to do. I do what a I feel like, when I feel like. I am a selfish, arrogant, rebellious person who doesn't give a shit about honor and pride. And when I meet people who do care about such arcane ideas, it gives me the creeps. I know right away that these people are capable of the worse human atrocities. Honorable persons kill and maim to much higher degrees. I just hurt people's feelings and disappoint them. I am much too much of a mercenary to kill someone for some idea, or ideal, like honor and pride. I have no people, no allegiances, I move with the wind and am just here to have a good time before the party is over. I want to taste all the food, sleep with all the women, make money and spend it, travel and see things, sing songs and care for the weak, all because it feels good.

I am talking about love, love your neighbor, till it hurts.

You, you with your ideals, your honor, dignity and pride. Go fuck yourself. Take your morality and die with your repression, may worms eat your insides away. You are a sinner against life. Sit in your office, take your drugs, pride yourself on your efficiency and talents. What good will it do you, perhaps it will give you 20 years of security but security never ever gave anyone life.

The illusion of safety is more dangerous than danger.

And this is to everyone who has gone to, has served or has had anything to do with the war in Iraq. You're all war criminals. Don't ask me to support you, to feel bad for you, or feel grateful that you carry the torch of imperialism. Whether you like it or not, you are complicit to murder in the name of who knows what. Shut up with your ideals, about freedom and our way of life. We are all slaves! To anxiety, to shopping, to bulimia, to small cock size, to fatness, to gasoline cars, walmart, tv, internet, can't get it up and can't take it down. How long are you gonna let them push you around! How long! I bet you like it, I bet you like getting shit on, I bet it gives you the kicks because you feel you deserve no better because they got your mommy and daddy in the 1950s and made them zombies and then you weren't breast fed and you were fed TV dinners and now you re-live it every week in therapy. And you cry and don't know why.

"American boy, American girl, most beautiful people in the world. Son of a frontier, indians swirl..."

There was such greatness. There was the great big open in front of us, we were free to be whatever we wanted. No government could control us, this was the land of plenty, the last great unknown. And rather than bravely face it, fear took over, and we lost our way and sheltered ourselves from our selves.

The earth will always be here, waiting for us to awaken out of our sickness. It waits indifferently, knowing in the end of all our running around we come back to the Mother. Don't be afraid to live, my brother. My jihad does not entail suicide bombers but people who LIVE and FIGHT and are bombs of light and knowledge and truth.

And it is more than just willing it, you have to have a regimen.

1. no tv

2. no pharm drugs

3. no deodorant

4. no sugar free gum

5. no fast food and sodas, consume NOTHING that is advertised. Its a simple and brilliant rule.

6. use libraries, if you can more than one, angels and homeless people are there, and they both will take care of you.

7. No cars, driving makes you dumber. (an exception is made for cross country American trips and trips in general into the wild)

Don't anything out of fear or obligation. Do it for the thing itself, consciously and with love.

And realize that there are no guarantees. Nothing is fair, there is no justice, just laws of nature, and like nature, that is so loving, it is also cruel and indifferent. Either way a life spent in HER is a life spent living. You can choose to be inside, to be in your POD, living anywhere, even mars, with your cute cafes, and food, and computer and all the rest of the nonsense. Do it, play with it, put it on as one would a shirt, but don't be attached to it, it is not essential, man. It is just an illusion. Deep down, it is simple, what makes goodness and greatness.

It is no contradiction to drive to the ANTI-car meeting. Do it because it is necessary. Just because something is necessary does not make it good. i.e Modern medicine, warfare, etc, etc.

The answer is not the WILD. Modern living cannot and should not be rejected. It gave us the city, and the Novel. No time before was better than now. Enough of the empty romantics. You just got to control it, and clear your mind. Its an illusion. The most striking of beauty is possible sometimes in what seem like hopeless situations. We let our guard down, and when you flow with it, the truth and beauty find you and fill you. There is no rule-book. No way to make it happen, though certain activities can make it more likely there is never a guarantee. We are in the most perfect of systems, there is a deeper harmony, if only we are not afraid and accept risk.


Morticia of Mirth said...

....this one is almost opaque, yet transparent enough to offer glimpses of a poetic vision that the reader also shares...

Socrates said...

i know nothing. join me.